"the state or quality of being useful; usefulness" - dictionary.reference.com

Okay this becomes chim. It's like... I eat sweet durians because they make me happy as they taste good. Hence it is useful for me to do so cause when i'm happy i enjoy myself. In eonomics, utility is measured in monetary terms (my utility for the durian is forty pp). So are people all utilitarians? Do people do stuff that they think is best for them? Of course.

So is it selfish to do the things you think are best for yourself? Is helping someone selfish because you would want to increase your pool of friends? Is love selfish because it is to satisfy one's need for a sense of security and such?

I just slept with my cat even though is took up like half my bed and made me curl up, but i did it because it was sooo cute lol. I was happy to sleep beside my cat, and i enjoyed it. Was that selfish? I waited with my dad 2 hours for my mum and sis to cut their hair, but it would have been a bigger waste of time if they went on their own without dad fetching them.

Similarly I go to church at 7:30 although i slept late and needed more sleep due to overloading of outfields last week (crazy no 7h of rest no time for breakfast or lunch and chiong so much that... wait i just decided to fing elaborate on this more) so that I can worship God and receive from him because i want to. Actually many people do. It is what kick starts the week, the refreshing of the knowledge of being cared for, and the invaluable tangible blessing that i receive.

On the other hand training or practice has to be smart or else it would not be effective. Doing and redoing ie training hard is stupid. Learning math by doing many problems, but not understanding the proof of the formula, or why the formula holds true, does not do anyone good. Planning through before doing is crucial, it's better that just doing more. For example, "Today we're gonna learn how to build a car. We will have lots of practice so you can try and try and try till you're familiar and can do it as fast as possible." vs "Do this step then this step then... it's the fastest way to building a car. *does it twice or thrice and BAMM skill mastered level 25*"

I am maturing bits by bits and I think relationships are like that cat on my bed. Don't get me wrong, I mean I will enjoy her company as she does just as if I enjoy my cat's. Don't get me wrong again, gfs are not just cats. In fact I think i will have a greater time with the special friendship that we will create.

But that's just for later... still not time...